Being Female

My happiness about being female goes hand in hand with my relief not to be male. Yes indeed. Allow me to elaborate.

• Being female means not having to watch lame sports. Unless I want to.

• Being female means I'm allowed to cry. It makes me sensitive rather than a wet blanket.

• Being female means not having to go where my dick mindlessly leads me. That's right, 'cause I ain't got one.

• Being female means having the right to bitch and whine before, during and right after my period. Not to mention when I'm ovulating. Face it, boys, there's no way in hell you could blame temporary let alone chronic moodiness on mister one-eye.

• Being female means you can like disco without anyone remarking "are you a woofer, or what?!!"

• Being female means understanding the joy of shopping. You boys don't know what you're missing.

• Being female means not having to worry about going bald. We just go gray and dye, and don't have to resort to wigs. Unless we want to.

• Being female means the ability to have kids if we want them. In the real world, not even Arnie could pull that one off.

• Being female means having friends, rather than booze-buddies.

• Being female means not having to be macho. Unless I want to.

• Being female means not being judged on your car. Or the bimbo by your side.

• Being female at 40 means good sex. Being male aged 40.. what was sex again?

• Being female means never being ashamed or afraid to hug your friends.

• Being female means never being too embarrassed to tell mum you love her.